A Good Relationship with Others Starts with a Great Relationship with Yourself

Growing up I remember my grandmother always telling me, “love yourself more than you love anyone else.” As a kid the concept was lost on me, and as a young adult even more so. Now in my mid 30s I can appreciate the phrase and its importance. Loving yourself involves truly knowing your needs and desires.  And it means the difference between needing and wanting the people and things in your life. Dependency in moderation can be beneficial in the “give and take” structure of a relationship. However, too much of one can build resentment and conflict.  Both are avoidable but you must first be secure. I can honestly say my balance gets skewed and I have come to realize that is okay as long as I even things out. My top 3 ways of making sure I give the relationship I have with myself some attention include:

  • Consistently examining the motives behind my actions. I ask myself if what I am saying and doing is a reflection of my personality and opinions? This question ensures that your behavior puts your best interests first. If your reactions are always a manifestation of the needs of others, then it becomes that much harder to be true to yourself.
  • Each day I think about the things I did to take care of “me”. Now this is a challenging one, especially when you have responsibilities like kids, spouse, home, work, etc. But if that bond is strong and true, you will remember to take time at least once a day for you. For me, my commute home from work is all about me.  I meditate to enter into the present moment and push aside the stress of the day, and the long to-do list stored in my mind.
  • Take regular breaks, and not only when they are needed. I make it a point to get up from my desk every hour. The brief movement promotes a healthy body and mind. Waiting until you feel tired, sick, or frustrated is not the best way to show yourself some love.

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Each of these give me the head space to focus on the associations most important to me. I have the strength and power to analyze interpersonal relationships allowing me to uncover productive and counterproductive parts of those connections.

So fellow Resolifers, how do you foster a healthy and happy relationship with yourself?  Comment below, and don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @reso_life, Twitter @life_reso, and Google+ @ResoLife

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