Romance Novels Mundane & Predictable or a Lesson in Courtship

The concept of romance varies from person to person, and I have learned also from age group to age group. When I was in middle school and had my first boyfriend, my idea of a romantic gesture included holding hands on the walk to school, carrying my books, and g-rated pda in front of his friends. Now that I am in my mid-thirties and married, having dinner set, turning down the volume on the tv when I’m sleeping, and fixing things around the house with ease makes my heart go pitter patter. Anyone who has picked up a romance novel will tell you that relationships appear complicated in a trival way, as the main character and the object of their affection toy with openly expressing their feelings. And despite all the obstacles 9 out of 10 times they live happily ever after.

Now a days there is no question where someone’s interest lie, as young adolescents to adults choose a less subtle approach to dating. But is that really the best way to ensure longevity, especially among the younger age group?

One of my goals connected to pursuing a degree in psychology is to help adolescents in my community. Their generation face problems that just began to surface during my teenage years, and they not only need support but they have to learn to deal. Intense feelings like love, hate, admiration, insecurity, and acceptance have been components to decisions made that have lead in tragic consequences.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend’s teenage daughter about genres of books she finds most interesting. When the topic of romance novels came up she could not roll her eyes hard enough. She described the stories as repetitive and typical. The main character has a love interest that he or she goes on and on about, but makes no move to do anything about it. The back and forth is drawn out and makes her want to scream, “JUST KISS ALREADY!” Her comment, as much as I completely agree with it, made me wonder about the dating game through a teenager’s eyes.

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In books, television shows, and movies, it is not enough to know that the main character will end up with his or her love interest. It is the not knowing when that keeps us glued to the end. Would that not be the same concept in real life? Instead of taking the time to get to know someone and enjoy the process of the chase and being chased, teenagers often jump right in head first.  It is all or nothing. Hooking up and all its various definitions is too often the way a relationship is initiated. When things fizzle out quickly and with tons of drama, most are left confused and alone. So perhaps there is something to the long-winded, coy behavior in the over dramatized novels. Those relationships seem to stand the test of time.

Resolifer’s what is your take on Romance? Would it last longer if professing feelings were dragged out, or is it better to be upfront and dive right in? Leave a comment, and don’t forget to subscribe and follow me on Instagram @reso_life, Twitter @life_reso, and Goggle+ @ResoLife

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