I am a firm believer that we are the only ones that control our response to others. Despite this belief, it is important to recognize when people in our lives are hurting us. Making this determination is not easy, as it involves separating how we feel about the situation to make some clear realizations. This post comes after having felt mistreated by some who are close to me. Most times I chuck it up to me being too sensitive. I care about the people in my life wholeheartedly and when I do not believe their are being considerate I take it hard. I have developed some techniques to help me decipher between when I am mistreated or am just all up in my feelings.
- Discuss the issue with the other party/parties. This is a challenge, but the most important step. Listening, and I mean completely listening to the other side can shed some light on the intent of the infraction. A lot of times a misunderstanding has occurred and can be easily handled.
- Another approach is to think what about the situation bothered you, and how often this behavior has happened. The more often you are being treated negatively by an individual the more likely it is not in your head.
- A common red flag that it is you and not them, is if you are having issues with the majority of people in your life. One or two problems can be put on both sides but multiple issues calls for self-reflection.
- Taking action whether it be removing that individual from your life, promoting some distance, or venting to someone close. The worst thing to do is bottle it up. Trying to just let it go without handling the problem in some way, can create resentment, foster negative self-perceptions, and eventually end relationships.
The relationships in my life are important to me, as I am sure all of yours are to you. Taking care of them involves taking care of yourself. You do so by being honest and open about your feelings, and taking action that best suit your needs. Detecting when a negative situation is an overreaction, or if it is time to let someone go is difficult. But we each have to be mindful of our life situations and ensure they are going to empower us, and promote personal growth.
Fellow Resolifers, how do you handle disagreements? There’s a lot to be said about analyzing a situation. Comment below with your thoughts.
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