Ways of Dealing With Trust Issues

Trust holds such an importance in relationships with others and the one we have with ourselves.  When there is an uncertainty with trust we begin questioning even the most innate aspects of our lives. I ended my weekend reading a book on being a trustworthy leader, written by Aneil Mishra and Karen Mishra. The first couple of sections were powerful in the way the authors’ take on defining trust, and the reason so many have issues trusting organizations and its leaders.  I took their descriptions a step further and began thinking about the lack of trust I sometimes have in myself.

When working out any problem the first step is to define the issue.

Trust in the government running our country, businesses we purchase our day-to-day items, and the companies that employ us is strained. Each day a report is released about a lie told, or about an action that is a clear abuse of power.  Mergers and takeovers among companies leave employees not privy to the decisions made by higher ups out of the loop and often shocked once the news is shared.

On a personal level trusting ourselves when making life altering decisions can become a challenge if previous situations did not turn out well. This is most common when it comes to relationships. We allow others to come into our lives and sometimes this leads to heartbreak. How can a person manage to trust their instincts when the next new person or situation comes along?

The book employs a method that reminds me of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. It is called ROCC of Trust. Asking yourself questions relating to the reliability, openness, competency, and compassion of the organization or individual can help to make an informed and confident decision.

i) Begin by asking yourself, is this company or new person something/someone you can rely on? When looking within, ask yourself is the situation or person you are introducing into your life one that you are committed to being an active member?

ii) Can they be trusted to be truthful and upfront? Are you comfortable enough to be upfront about your thoughts and feelings?

iii) Are all parties (including yourself) knowledgeable about the situation or relationship so that informed decisions can be made?

iv) Does everyone involved understand each person’s needs and does what is possible to fulfill them?

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These are hard questions to ask, but the answers are necessary to build, regain, and maintain trust.

Fellow Resolifers, how do you workout trust issues? Comment below.

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