Self-Sabotage: Why We Do It, and How To Stop

These past few months have been a time of reflection as I try to understand why I have allowed myself to stop the fruition of my goals. I wanted to start an e-commerce selling body scrubs infused with essential oils. Just as I was ready to hit the button that would launch my online store I freaked out. I had a panic attack and went as far as to dissolve my company name, close my business account, and delete the store page. A week later when I calmed down and regained my senses, I began to ask myself why. My product idea, although done many times before, had an original component to it that would have sparked interest. I conducted countless product testings and knew I had a good product. Then why, oh why was I so afraid to share it?

Self-sabotage is the answer and fear was the source. Another common culprit behind self-destruction, according to my favorite self-help guru Tony Robbins, is to achieve pleasure. Yeah, when I heard that I too said, “What now?” But yes, Mr. Robbins explains that we do not promote negativity in our lives intentionally, but really to seek something we equate as good. Whether it be attention, acknowledgement, or peace. In my example I self-sabotaged to alleviate my anxiety and fear. So what can we do to rewire our thought process to minimize or stop self-sabotaging?

  1. Focus on how our goals will help others. We are less likely to avoid taking action when we know it will benefit others.
  2. Don’t be afraid of setbacks. Growth and improvements are only made when situations are not going as planned.
  3. Set both long-term and short-term goals, but place most of the focus on the short-term. Sometimes getting too ahead of ourselves promotes the what ifs from clouding our judgement and lowering our confidence.
  4. Continue to research and expand your knowledge even after you have made it. Knowledge is power and the more you have the less likely you are to allow fear to hinder your success.
  5. Listen and read work produced by influential speakers, like Tony Robbins. Inspiration can come from many different outlets, so explore what those who have achieved goals similar to your own have done for their achievements.
~images made using Canva app

The self-sabotage struggle is real. But we each have it in us to stop the negative patterns, establish a new way of thinking, and you will see a change in the way you react to stressful situations.

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